Teaching is often measured by things we never see immediately. The most meaningful accomplishments are often the ones we never get to witness. Growth is gradual. Impact is hidden. And some days, it feels like you pour out everything you have and go home wondering if it mattered.

One of my favorite scripture verses is Galatians 6:9. This verse reminds us to not give up. It encourages us to keep doing the right thing even when it gets hard. It says, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” I think this verse speaks directly to the heart of teaching. Day after day, we show up, serve faithfully, and give our best, often without immediate results or recognition. Yet Scripture assures us that this work matters.

Think about it like this: seeds don’t look like much when they’re planted. They’re buried, quiet, and easy to overlook. But what’s happening beneath the surface is real. With time, care, and consistency, those seeds take root and grow into something strong and lasting. Every day we have the opportunity to plant seeds of patience, confidence, curiosity, discipline, and hope.

We have to remember that we may never fully see the harvest of our work. We may not know how a word of encouragement, a moment of grace, or a lesson taught with care will shape a student’s future. But God sees it all. He honors our perseverance, values our faithfulness, and promises that our labor is not in vain.

So today, let’s be encouraged. Let’s not grow weary in doing good. Let’s trust that, in God’s perfect timing, the harvest will come. ~TDB

God, thank You for calling us to this important work. When we feel tired or discouraged, renew our strength. Help us to remain faithful, even when the results are unseen. Teach us to trust You with the harvest, knowing that You are always at work. Amen.

I am turning fifty years old tomorrow. This means I have lived half a century. For the entire year, I have been thinking, ok, maybe even fretting, about this huge milestone in one’s life. If I’m being honest I really don’t feel like it is possible that I am fifty years old already. It is strange how time does that. The years go by but on the inside it seems like just yesterday your life was beginning. 

I am hopeful that my fifties will be some of my best years yet. It has not been an easy feat making it to this point in life and yet it also seems like, as I said before, time has flown by. 

Someone recently told me that their forties were their best years and that fifty was just not it for them. This bothered me at first, but I have to remember that everyone has their own journey. For me my forties brought with it a lot of change, resilience, and growth. In my forties, all three of my children graduated from high school and two of them graduated from college. In my forties, I went back to school and earned both a bachelor’s degree and a master’s degree. In my forties, I began my teaching career. And in my forties, I lost my sister. These are just the big events. There are so many more sandwiched in between. I learned to let go of really heavy things that I had carried with me for years. I learned to love myself a little better. I learned to fall in love all over again with my husband. I learned that I can do really hard things. I learned that having adult children is equally as sweet and amazing as having little ones. I learned to be brave. I learned to step out of my comfort zone. I learned to be me. My authentic and true self. 

I am not saying that authentic and true is always pretty because it certainly is not. Life is messy and I am human. I get caught up in insecurities and performance anxiety, and I get snippy and tired, but through it all I remind myself who I am in Christ Jesus. I am so grateful for His grace and provision over my life. There are so many times I fail. So many times I get caught up in the stress or sadness or simply put, “the struggle”, but God is faithful. He is real. 

The idea of being a Proverbs 31 woman is what I strive for. I want to be the kind of wife, mother, teacher, friend, daughter, sister, aunt, that points others to God. I want the people around me to feel loved and cared for. I want to be seen as a woman of grace and confidence. I want my words to build up and not tear down. As I move into this second half of a century, I pray that I will continue to grow and change, but I hope it is a sweet time of observation and reflection. I pray that I am a pillar of strength for my children and grandchildren. I pray that my words and actions bring comfort. I am looking forward to weddings (one very soon), and grandbabies, vacations, and celebrations. I am looking forward to spending more time writing and reading, and who knows, maybe even getting to speak some more at youth events. I want most of all to grow closer to the Lord. I want to relish His goodness and soak up his blessings. 

The past fifty years have taught me so much about myself and the person I have been striving to be my whole life. I would not say that I have arrived, but I would say that I am arriving and according to God’s will, I think I am right on time. ~TDB

Lord, thank you for loving me so much more than I deserve. I pray that my actions and my words will be full of wisdom and that they will be pleasing to you. I pray that while I am still on this Earth that you will continue to protect and provide, and I thank you that I know without a doubt that the best is yet to come. I love you, Lord.  

In Jesus Name I Pray, Amen 

Today is the one year date of the loss of my sister, Nikki. The strange thing is, I have been anticipating this day all week. It’s as though I felt on this day I would feel something completely different. Maybe I was worried that I would feel the sting of losing her all over again. That wave of emotion has not come over me yet, but I still have the feeling of dread like something is just not right. I’m assuming this is probably normal. I can still see myself in my mind the moment I got the first phone call that something was wrong. The feeling of helplessness because I was so far away. The sudden reminder that she hadn’t texted me back yet from earlier. The panicked feeling of – this is not good, the immediate pleading with God that this would not be the day. I was sobbing on the inside. I was hot and weak and nauseous all at the same time.

The room was packed with people, and I was sitting at a table with three couples I had just met. Neil was to my left. I calmly excused myself from the table. My ears were ringing like I’d just recovered from fainting. In a fog I walked to the ladies room. I felt like I was outside of my body. I could see myself smiling politely as I walked past people. I stopped just outside the door of the ballroom. “Where in the heck is the bathroom” I thought as I was frantically searching. “To the left” a stranger said to me. They must have seen the stress in my face. I made my way to the farthest stall. “I’m gonna be sick” I thought. I took a deep breath. I sat down on the seat as if it were a chair, and I began to pray. God, please. I don’t know what to say. I know you love her more than I do. I know you know what is best. I know you have a plan. God, I love her. God, what about my mom? God, how are we gonna do this? God, I don’t want her to die. God, please please please.

The nausea was hanging in my throat like a boiling lava, and I felt like I was struggling to breathe. My mind raced with thoughts from similar times before. This can’t be happening, I yelled inside my head. This is not real I thought. I moved from the stall out into the hallway. Servers and waiters were bustling in and out of the kitchen door I was standing near. I called Drew. He was with mom. She was on speaker phone with the hospital and Drew had me on speaker phone too. Nikki was in Louisiana, Mom and Drew were in Goodnight, I was in Kansas City. I heard the pronouncement that Nikki was gone and my knees went weak. I slid down the wall outside the bathroom and felt numb. I could hear my mom and my brother weeping on the other end of the phone. There was nothing I could do. After a few minutes, I gathered myself up and like a robot being controlled from a distance I went back to the ballroom. The sound of glasses touching, forks scraping on plates, and conversations filled with robust laughter were deafening. Neil was still smiling and talking with his co-workers. I looked at him and quietly said “she died”. That was it. A few hours earlier I had texted her, and now she was simply gone.

The days following that frozen moment in time are a blur. I jumped into planning mode and tried to be strong for those around me. I don’t guess that responsibility was all on me, but for some reason that is what in my mind felt right at the time. We gathered together. We cried. Told stories, cried. Laughed, cried. Looked at pictures, cried. Went through all the motions of putting together, attending, and leaving a funeral. Cried. It was surreal. Much like that feeling of being on the outside, watching myself do something. The polite smiles and hugging. Standing next to the casket making small talk about how Nikki would have loved how voluptuous her lips looked or how pretty her nails looked. All such stupid things to say.

Not one day since Nikki passed have I not thought about her. I see her in so many places. Simple moments that remind me of her. Things like seeing her name written in sidewalk chalk by a random stranger on the curb in front of a store. Billboards with the verse “walk by faith” high in the sky. Watching a funny video with someone who has her mannerism. The reminders are all around. I also see her in the quiet moments on my drive to work when I’m talking out loud as if she were in the car with me. When I’m outside watching the birds. When I cook something that I know she would call and ask me for the recipe more than once. I feel her when I get a Starbucks coffee, when I wear my capri length lulu leggings, when I go to vote, when I hear someone at a table next to me order a Diet Coke, when I walk through the pet store, when I look at some of my students, when hear certain songs, when I pass certain places in town, when I write in my journal, when I drive to my moms. The list goes on and on. I miss her every single day. And I feel selfish for it. I know she is in the best place possible. I know she is fully healed and I know I will see her again. I do find peace in this and comfort too.

Nikki was a beautiful mess, and I am so thankful for the almost thirty-eight years God allowed me to have her in my life. It wasn’t always easy being her big sister, but it was always easy to love her.

I can truly say that I am changed because of my relationship with Nikki. I am even more changed by the loss of her. I am not the same person I was a year ago. I am bolder because of Nikki. I am more aware of my emotional and mental wellbeing. I am more intentional about being present in the moment with my family. I feel an urgency to invest in my students. I long for my quiet time more than ever, I crave scripture and prayer to nourish my soul in the same way I need food for my body. I am compelled to purge negativity. I am more empathetic to the pain of loss. The impact of losing someone you love is life altering. Whether you know it could happen, you know it’s going to happen, or it happens suddenly, it doesn’t matter. The emptiness and lack of words are still ever present.

I have met several people this year who have lost loved ones. Surprisingly, it is way more than you would expect. I watch them press on and move forward. I watch them continue to grieve but also continue to grow. The pain will always be there and a piece of my heart will forever be missing, but I will press on. I will remain steadfast. I will continue to live and I will continue to look for moments daily that remind me of Nikki. I will continue to laugh at her funny stories and relive those memories when I retell our stories. I will also continue to talk to her when I’m by myself and cherish the moments when she visits me in my sleep. And someday, when we are reunited in heaven, I will hug her so tight and rejoice, not only in my reunion with her, but in the fantastic reunion with my Lord and savior Jesus Christ.

God has a beautiful plan for each one of our lives, and honestly, it very seldom goes as we think it should. But I promise, if you will just hang in there it will all be right in the end.

So as we read in 2 Corinthians 5, we must be of good courage, and as Nikki’s favorite verse; 2 Corinthians 5:7 says, we must walk by faith not by sight. ~ TDB

“We were the beggars

now we’re royalty.

We were the prisoners

now we’re running free.

We are forgiven, accepted

redeemed by His grace.

Let the house of the Lord sing praise.”

Every time I hear the lyrics of this verse in Phil Wickham’s song, House of the Lord, I can’t help but smile. It is such a wonderful reminder of how even though we are all in different places in our lives: different ages, different life experiences, different socially, emotionally, physically, and spiritually, it doesn’t change who we are in Christ. We are sons and daughters of the King. I still marvel at this truth. It changes my thought process. It gives me a sense of security. It reminds me of who I am. Seriously, how cool is it that no matter where we come from, who we are, or what we have done, once we have accepted Christ as the creator and ruler of our lives, there is nothing we can do to change who He is or how He loves us. God’s love doesn’t compare to earthly kinds of love. It is only by His grace that we have been saved, and the hope, the joy, and the peace that only he can give, allows us the privilege to “run free.”

Go back to the beginning of this post and read that next to last line again.

“We are forgiven, accepted

Redeemed by His grace.”

Let those words really sink in… Forgiven. Accepted. Redeemed. Wow! Rest in that promise today. Soak up His goodness, and never forget that you are so loved. My friend, you are ROYALTY! ~TDB

Scripture to think about:

Ephesians 2:8 – For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.

1 Peter 2:9 – But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

Philippians 4:7 – And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Link to the song: Phil Wickham – House Of The Lord (with lyrics)(2021)

Original Post: August 9, 2021

This is the time of summer when I start feeling a bit anxious about what’s next. Summer camps have ended, bucket lists are filling up, the last big hooray has happened, and the schedule is already starting to fill up with upcoming to-do’s. The stores are putting out their fall decorations, the school supply lists are at the entrances, the signs of change are all around us again. I can already feel the tension rising as I think about the responsibilities and routines that are just a couple of weeks away. I have so enjoyed the extra down time, the time to rest. Rest is the key word here. In a world that is so full of hustle and bustle, we often forget to rest. I do not necessarily mean taking a nap or sleeping in (although those can be good things too), I mean sitting still and listening, not only to our bodies but to God. 

Knowing that we are about to enter a busy time of year I feel like this is a good time to remind myself how I came to the realization this summer that I needed to be intentional about rest…

At the beginning of the summer I was trying really hard to get through a long list of tasks, trying to make sure that I was using my extra time to get stuff done. Never mind that I had already pushed myself too hard the past several months with school (taking twenty-one credit hours in one semester), trying to work as much as I could, and then, add on sending my boys back to school during a pandemic, my daughters spring sports schedule, family obligations, etc. I had taken on way too much and my emotions were all over the place. I had also started having a strange twitch in the side of my neck, like my heart was beating fast but in my neck. And even though it was now summer, I just kept pushing. One afternoon I was helping my son clean the seats in his car. I jumped in the back and scrubbed and scrubbed. My neck was hurting and pulsing and I had this weird zinging feeling moving through my shoulder, but I didn’t stop scrubbing. I just pushed through thinking to myself, “I gotta get this cleaned up, it’s important, and my boy will be so grateful that I did this…” I woke up the next morning, and I couldn’t move my neck. I could barely sit myself up in bed. I just thought I was stiff from the scrubbing, and a hot shower would help. I had things to do that morning and certainly didn’t have time for a sore neck. While I was in the shower my neck locked up and I panicked. I couldn’t wash my hair, or even raise my arms. It scared me. I got out of the shower in tears. My daughter had to help me get my clothes on. I immediately texted a friend who is a chiropractor asking if I could see him right way. I was still thinking to myself, “I don’t have time for this.” I had plans that afternoon and even though it was something I had planned to do just for fun, I still didn’t want to miss it. I was so frustrated that I finally had time to take a break and this happened… I still didn’t take the hint. I also had somewhere I needed to be that morning, it was about thirty minutes away. I got in the car and drove about twenty minutes before I had to pull over and have my daughter drive the rest of the way. This was silly. I was pushing myself to keep going when I really just needed to rest. When we got back to town, I went to the chiropractor for an adjustment, and then I went to my afternoon activity. I wasn’t going to slow down because of a silly kink in my neck. As you probably already know, the pain in my neck didn’t go away. I just took some ibuprofen and kept pushing. It was not until a couple of days later that I finally decided I probably needed to rest in order for things to get better. Surprisingly enough, after a few days of staying close to home and limiting my activity, the tension in my neck let up and the pain began to subside. 

I tell this story not because I am wanting you to feel bad for me but to tell you that it took a painful situation to finally make me slow down a bit this summer and try to be intentional about taking care of myself: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. 

I want to use this story as a reminder that even though things are starting to pick up again and changes are happening all around me, I still need to take time for rest. Because I slowed down this summer, I was able to not only get my emotions back in check, but I was also able to grow closer to God through my quiet times and my journaling (which are two of my favorite things to do). I also took time to read just for fun as well as for spiritual growth. This doesn’t mean that everyday this summer has been perfect and that I have been able to rest every single day, but it does mean that I have been more intentional about making time to be still, and that has made a big difference in my days. 

As we begin moving into Fall and the kiddos start going back to school and our schedules begin to fill up, I want to remind each of us to take a minute each day to rest. To breathe for a second, to count our blessings. To simply spend time with God. We need down time and rest as much as we need air to breathe and water to drink. The bible tells us in Job 33:4 that “The Spirit of God has made me, and the breath of the Almighty gives me life.”  We also read in John 14:4 that, “those who drink the water I (God) give, will never be thirsty again. It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.” Take some time to be renewed by the spirit. Soak in His presence and REST. Don’t shrug off your responsibilities, but also don’t fill your schedule so full that you forget the importance of being still. Try to carve out a few minutes in your day specifically for rest. Maybe that is setting your alarm ten minutes earlier than usual and praying before you get out of bed. Maybe that is getting to work a few minutes early so you can just sit in your car and listen to your favorite worship song before you go inside. Maybe instead of playing a game on your phone or looking at social media when you get home at the end of the day, you read your bible for a few minutes. There are a lot of ways you can be intentional about resting in God’s presence for a few minutes each day. Rest really is one of the greatest gifts God has given us. In Matthew 11:28 God says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” There are going to be times when each one of us will feel weary and burdened, but I want to encourage us to be intentional about making time to rest. I promise that you will feel completely different about life when you do. ~Blessings, TDB

Don’t let someone else’s opinion keep you from pursuing your dreams. Know your value. Keep pressing forward. We’ve all heard the sayings, “what other people think of you is not your business,” and “If God has called you to it, He will lead you through it.” It sounds so cliche, but it is so true. You will work hard and be so passionate about something and it will still not work out sometimes. It’s ok. There are always going to be obstacles in your way and people who don’t think you can do it. It’s ok because you can do hard things. The process is part of the journey and the setbacks are part of your story. When you get the wind knocked out of you, you are allowed to take a minute to catch your breath, but you have to keep on pushing. I promise, God promises, it will be worth it. People will disappoint you. You will disappoint you. God will NOT disappoint you. He wants to and will, give us the desires of our heart. This doesn’t mean God will give us everything we want. It means that when we seek Him fully, His desires will become our desires, and therefore, He will give us the desires of our hearts. How cool is that? When we seek Him and allow Him to take the lead, we will not be limited by our emotions and fears, we will be motivated by them. Take a minute, shoot, take five to catch your breath and then keep pushing. You will be glad you did. And when you finally reach that giant sized goal that feels so out of reach right now, tell your story because I guarantee you someone else is going to need to hear it. You are so loved and so important to so many but most importantly to God. He is your number one fan and He has big plans for you!

It’s ok to take a minute. Don’t underestimate God’s timing. You’ve got this, and He’s got you! ~ TDB

Scripture references to think about…

Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

And we know that God works all things together for the good of those who love Him, who are called according to His purpose. Romans 8:28

Blessed are those who keep his statutes and seek him with all their heart. Psalm 119:2

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

I have been reminded multiple times this summer of the joy and peace that comes from being submerged in the word of God and surrounding yourself with a community of like minded believers. Do you remember what that feels like? When we “grow up” we get so caught up in doing grown up things that we lose sight of what we should be busy doing most, loving and praising God and loving people. My daughter went to church camp last week and came home renewed and full of confidence for what’s to come. She even made a post on her Instagram urging her friends to “come to Jesus if you have something bothering you.” She reminded her friends of the verse in Matthew 11:28 about being burdened and weary and how the Father gives you rest. Likewise, one of my boys is working at a Christian camp this summer and he too has be reaping the benefits of being poured into on a daily basis and sharing his faith with the kiddos. He has talked a lot about the verse in Hebrews 10: 24-25 that says, “And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another — and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

The thing is, life gets so busy. Our schedules fill up and our bodies get tired, and we slowly begin to lose touch with those whom we were meeting with and growing with. That “camp feeling” gets overshadowed by those grown up responsibilities feeling. I know for myself personally, as our children started getting older, it became easy to not attend church regularly because they had a game or an event, or we were out of town, or we were tired from a busy week, etc. and we gradually stopped going to church. At first, it was just missing Bible study before “big church”, but eventually we started only going to “big church”, and then we eventually stopped going all together. We still pray together and talk about God and our faith regularly in our home and daily lives, but this summer it has become clear that we are missing something. It’s community. You see, we need relationships with like minded people to encourage us and challenge us to be better, stronger, bolder. We have to be poured into on a regular basis in order to keep us full of faith and perseverance. Life gets hard, our time and relationships with people become more restricted (especially now with the pandemic), but we still need each other. The Bible tells us often that there is strength and power when we gather together. More specifically, in Matthew 18:20 it says, “For where two or three come together in my name, there am I (God) with them.” Worshiping, praying, serving all become more effective when we are doing it together. We were designed for community. We were created to love God, love others, and to be loved ourselves.

It is no surprise that when my children spend time fully immersed in the word at camp and surrounded by friends with the same intentions, that they are filled with a fire to tell others about Christ, and that they want to serve, and grow, and praise God with their whole self. When we fill ourselves up with the living water we become so full of God’s love that He spills out of us onto the people around us and into every area our lives.

Let’s be reminded of that excitement we felt at church camp when we were younger. Let that feeling stir up some enthusiasm inside of us again! Maybe we do that by looking for a church home if you don’t have one, or maybe going back to the church you’ve been missing. Reconnect with your old small group, or start a new small group. Do whatever it takes to find time with other believers and fill your cup so you can then pour into someone else’s. Let’s get those just back from church camp vibes flowing and then let’s keep them. All day. Everyday!

And while we are talking about church camp… Do you remember all those silly songs we used to sing to get pumped up? What was your favorite silly song? Mine was Spring Up Oh Well. I loved the splish splash and the yee-haw! It’s so funny how I can still remember all the words like it was just yesterday. I LOVE that camp feeling! Share one of your favorite camp songs in the comments section, and let’s get pumped up! ~ Blessings, TDB

Original Post October 30, 2020

Do you ever get so focused on what you are doing that you forget to look around? That happened to me this morning. I woke up with today’s tasks on my mind. Received a phone call and returned three text messages before my feet even hit the floor. Jumped up, hit the shower, another phone call, and about six more texts. Checked school work, made a list of things I need for tomorrow, made my bed…rush rush rush. I hopped in the car to run an errand before work, still in deep thought, driving with a purpose, you know the deal. All the sudden I’m sitting at a stop light and I realize I’ve been staring straight ahead and thinking about 50 different things not once losing focus of my agenda. I take a deep breath and just look around. I am filled with a sense of awe…the leaves, the sunshine, the bustle of people moving around. I think to myself wow..you’re pretty self absorbed this morning. You guys, there is so much more going on around us that we forget to see because we are so focused on our own intentions and our own plans. This is not a bad thing per se. We do need to tend to our responsibilities, but don’t forget to take a deep breath and recognize all the beauty and splendor that is around us. God is still at work and He is actively involved in our comings and goings. Try to take a minute today to notice the small stuff and be grateful! Positive in, positive out!